love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
