Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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