I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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