I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
