So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
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I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
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Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize