some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
3pm strippers are depressing
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
