Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
