Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
