My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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