Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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