They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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