I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
