Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
