I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
