i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
