Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
