ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I have fence marks all over my body
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
