my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
