break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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