I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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