Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize