YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize