ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
