just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
