just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
