she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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