you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
the raccoons are back...
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