DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
