That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize