so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
