You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
