I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
