Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
