Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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