She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
