this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
