Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
