I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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