just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
