I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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