Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i think i have herpe
just one?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Still dying that you shit outside
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize