i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize