wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
