I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
