I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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