Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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