How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
