And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
