whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
