I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
