ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
