I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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