if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
What a fucking waste of an outfit
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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