in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
