oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i already hear my dad disowning me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Randomize
