we have officially lost it.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
