My hair reeks of homosexuality.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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