He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
