yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
