Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
