You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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