If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
