When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
