so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
