omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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