I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
it was like eating out sand paper
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
