I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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